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Birth trauma is real.
And it's not always clear cut, and certainly doesn't always feel like something we can claim. But trauma is more than just having "something bad happen". It is about our nervous system. When our body or mind senses that something has transpired that shouldn't have, that activates our nervous system and inhibits our ability to effectively navigate aspects of life.
If you have had a birth experience that left you feeling off - maybe you don't even know why - maybe the birth went great by all objective measures - that doesn't mean you have to feel great. It is okay, and actually so important, to acknowledge when you don't feel great after birth. If something is troubling you about your birth - whether you can clearly identify and communicate that or just feel off - the sooner you can be honest about that in a safe, supportive environment, the better.
Of course, it doesn't always feel like we CAN be honest about these feelings. Even in the most medically traumatic experiences, we may have our feelings brushed aside with comments like, "well at least mom and baby are healthy now," but that is not enough!
"I have said this to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
Birth is one of the most intimate things we do as humans. Our bodies are pushed to the absolute limit of pain and endurance, our privacy and modesty often go out the window as our bodies are often exposed to people we don't even know, and for really any additional thing to be stacked on top of those already monumental experiences, it makes complete sense that women would be sensitive to the goings on throughout their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum phases.
Now, my goal here is not to rile you up into an anger over the way other people talk to mothers, but simply to just acknowledge that this is the reality and it's HARD! And we need to change this norm.
Regardless of how long it has been since your traumatic birth experience - which again, means that something about the experience has left you unsettled and possibly even afraid of giving birth again - you deserve to heal from that experience and to be able to view your fertility in a positive light (whether you ever give birth again or not) because your negative birth experience is not a negative side effect of your fertility, but it is a negative side effect of the world in which we live, and you don't have let the world's flaws weigh you down and impact your own view of your body's God-given gifts.
"A single act of love makes the soul return to life."
St. Maximillian Kolbe
That is why I am now offering birth processing sessions. This is not therapy and I am not a trained mental health professional. However, I have received training in trauma intervention, and that is exactly what the maternal care system is lacking. There isn't much support available for moms to talk about the realities of their birth experience in an honest way, without the fear of being judged or invalidated, and we so need this space!
So.... if any of this speaks to you - if you read this and say, "Yes! Thank you! We need this kind of support!" or maybe it makes you tear up because you so want another baby but that feels terrifying and that makes you so sad to feel that conflict - I am so glad that you are here!
I offer these sessions to help moms work through their past birth experience(s) and regain confidence in the beauty and joy of their fertility so that they can embrace that God-given gift with peace. I currently offer this in both one-on-one coaching sessions, as well as in a support group setting. Our next support group will be beginning in July (dates pending) but sign ups are open now!
If you are interested in a consultation for 1:1 sessions or in signing up for the support group, please schedule an initial consultation with me and we can start the conversation. Peace and joy around birth is possible with the right support and I would be honored to walk alongside you as you heal from the past and are able to once again embrace the beauty of God's given gift that is your fertility and motherhood journey!
Cost for Birth Processing Support
1:1 Coaching Sessions:
$88 / 1.5 hour session - pay-as-you-go
Support Group:
eight 1.5 hour group sessions
$35 / session due as you go - must commit to all sessions
pay-in-advance discount $280 $240
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